Future Moby Dick?

Scene: a work function, at which I am one of the guests of honor. There is (delicious!) chocolate mousse cake.

Players: me and two other women, all standing around having cake.

Context: 19 weeks pregnant. Only 4 skirts, and sweatpants, will go on me at this point. Maternity clothes ordered, but not yet arrived.

One of these women I know a little bit and I like her a lot. She's a working mom and I think she's just awesome. She's got 3 kids, most recently twins (a few years ago).

Lady: Oh, you are so tall. You have lots of space to carry your pregnancy. Tall women can look so elegant when pregnant.*

Me (laughing): I think short women look so cute pregnant! Like little snowmen, so jolly!

Lady (taking a step back and looking at me): Wow, your body has changed a lot in the last 3 weeks. If you are that big already, you are going to get REALLY big. (pause) I'm not trying to scare you or anything.

Coming from a 5'3" or so lady who had twins - and looks just great after having done so - her estimation of "big" ought to carry some significance. But which way is it? Am I carrying well, or am I going to be wheeled around because my ankles can't support my enormous mass by the 30th week?

It didn't bother me at all, maybe because I've never been heavy, and I like her. It was just a really funny juxtaposition of comments. Maybe I touched a nerve with the "snowman" comment? (But really, I think short pregnant ladies look so adorable!)

* I am not elegant when not pregnant, so being relegated to the frumpiest articles of clothing I have, and becoming this odd shape and size, is not making me more elegant.

Things people say

I've already learned to expect to be rubbed/grabbed in a way I never have been before. Maybe my butt has grown so that people are just intimidated by its mass now? But no, that would mean they'd cower in fear at my belly instead of reach for it.

Which is fine. I have read about that, so it was vaguely expected, and I tend to interact via touch anyhow.


But good lord, the things people say.

The two best so far:

• There is no "Hello": When greeting a pregnant person, instead you must ask: "How are you feeling?" News flash: THIS IS NOT A TERMINAL ILLNESS.
• The other is an anecdote:

A wonderful sweet woman, mom to several kids, understanding and kind, was jovially welcoming me to the mom-club, so to speak. She asked, in front of two other people, "Are you ready?"

I laughed and replied, "Of course not!" Thinking, of course, like I think any reasonable person ought, that there's no way to prepare for the lifelong tornado that is parenthood.

Her immediate response:
"Oh, it wasn't planned?"

Facepalm.