Brought to you by....

Very good friends gave us a Melissa&Doug talking alphabet puzzle for the Guajolotita#1's birthday. We didn't open it for her at the time, as she still put EVERYTHING in her mouth. Recently the babysitter must have, because it came crashing down on my head in pieces when I was trying to reach something else in her closet.

So I am hauling everything out of the closet to try and find the letters, while the kiddo is putting the "puzzle" together. It's just one of those where each letter has its slot, they don't actually interlock or anything like an actual puzzle. And it doesn't talk yet as it has no batteries.

Anyway, of course I can't find them all. But l made good progress. I called out to THCSITU, "We're just missing N!"

He says, "I know where it is. Check the TV."

I said, "No, I found G above the TV, there aren't any more."

He says, "I mean on Sesame Street. I'm pretty sure I've seen it there."

Har har!!

(Which, also, he actually hasn't because we've never turned on Sesame Street or any other kids programming.)

Maybe this is for real.

I've got something like sciatica again. It's too early for that, isn't it?

I am eating a McFlurry for the first time in my life, which THCSITU got for me, because I asked for it. And it's freaking awesome.

Breaking: Blog Title Now Accurate?

Today I had my annual PAP exam scheduled. Since I couldn't totally rule out pregnancy, I took the one leftover pregnancy test from the pack of three we used 2 years and 8 days ago. Probably scraping your cervix is not advisable during pregnancy, so I figured I should check.

The test was expired since March 2012, around 4 months ago.
Well, you can see what I saw:

I kept the pee in a ziploc for the midwife to test. I showered, emailed, etc. waiting for everyone to wake up.

Just before 8, the Guajolotita opened her own door and came out of her room. No tears, no accident - just like a big kid, but with her sleepy toddler face and all her hair in her eyes. It was the cutest thing!

So we went to wake up The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe. He hugged her, and we all went to pee (potty training is a long process at this age!).

I brought him his glasses, and he says, "What."

I hand him the test. He looks and says, "You're pregnant?"

I sorta rock back on my heels, and nonchalantly say, "Yup."

His response: "What are you, Irish?"

** astute friend observed that Mexican-American people are a rather fast-growing segment of the population! Why'd this Mexican guy decide to lump me with a different bunch of Catholic breeders?

5th Prenatal Visit

Weight (mine): 154.5 lbs

Heart beat (Guajolote's): 120-130

This is way lower than all the previous times. Also, I feel like the baby is moving much less the last few days than prior to our minor scare. So I don't feel great about that, but the midwife said it didn't mean anything and it's all normal. But still... she said if we are worried, then to be on "cervical rest" for two weeks and heh heh "do it" again and see what happens. Wait, what? TWO WEEKS? Not enthused.

I took the glucose test tonight. Results, if not good, by phone tomorrow. I think they'll be fine though.

Additionally, we are supposed to schedule another ultrasound (yay?) because the last images, when reviewed by a radiologist, don't adequately show the "major arteries": the aorta and something else (not good).

We haven't actually worried about that yet. The midwife said that since the baby has grown, the ultrasound tech will get better/clearer images of these little but important components and everything is probably fine.


PS. 154.5 lbs? holy crap! I'm already more than 20 lbs heavier than I started out!!

PPS. christ I hope that's the least of my worries with this kid.

Distorted reality

I have no clue what size I am now. I have 2 pairs of maternity pants and the same maternity shirt in 6 colors - and that's my uniform.

Yesterday, tucking my pants into my winter boots, I thought: "Oh, kinda like skinny jeans!"

NOT. Not at all. My maternity pants just fit so dang well. Which is a good thing - but it fools me. I've got clothes I've had since junior high (not kidding) and they still fit (until August this year). I just don't change that much, so it's hard to realize that I am, in fact, different.

A la Foxworthy:

You might be enormous if...

you see yourself in the mirror and think, "My butt looks pretty good in these [maternity] pants."

Sex *is* allowed

...but one way or another it might freak out all involved.

fair warning: bodily fluids, and my sex life, discussed below

Since the ultrasound, I feel that THCSITU has been physically pretty distant. Additionally, since closing on the house, we have been crazy busy - and that's only going to get worse. Anyhow, sex isn't coming as readily as it did, say, two months ago.

Last night, I successfully changed that, at least for the night. We had a *very* good time. But

That's the first time that's happened for us during pregnancy. Fortunately, I've read enough to know that is par for the course. I reassured THCSITU that the books mention this and it's OK. It rattled me a little though - all night I kept checking, "Is he moving? Oh good." I slept less than 4 hours, I'm sure.

The next morning the nurse sounded very attentive over the phone, but the midwife called back and said as long as the color was getting darker and stopped within a day that it's normal.

So, non-pregnant people, file that one away somewhere in your noggin. Because, per the link above, I didn't find a reputable source in my googling while waiting for the midwife to call back.

The question remains: can I convince THCSITU that it's OK to touch me in that way again before, say, this kid is 3 months old?

Dress up or, does that come as a muumuu?

Last night was The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe's office Christmas party. This is not just any office party - it is super fancy, mean age is under 30, and the girls are skanked up good. I knew there were going to be 2 other pregnant people there (out of ~200 people), so at least I wouldn't be the only Violet.

I tried ordering formal wear.

Looks OK, right? WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong. It felt like a sack, that horrible heavy polyester grossness that choir robes are made out of. And in the back - there's a reason they don't have the back image! It might's well've been a house dress! It was like a tent.

So it got returned (thank you, 48-hr-try-on policy!!) and the same night I convinced THCSITU to go to Marshall's and help me find a dress.

THCSITU: "Maybe this one"

Me: "Um, that's a size 14..."

THCSITU: "Well, I don't know if they have one bigger..."

I ended up with a range of stuff, from sweater dresses in size S to things in a 14. 3/4 of them fit, and I took about 2/3. Two of those were possible "nice" dresses for this occasion. The next day I took one to the tailor to make it fit the non-belly parts of me and went for a hair cut. The dress had sequins! I never wear sequins.

Given how much he charged, they didn't work the miracle I was hoping for, but with some heels I thought it would be alright. I went in to the party with some confidence... but the pictures we took after belied the truth. I didn't look cute and pregnant, especially in the low lighting of the event. I just looked... chunky. Sigh. :(


PS. the more-pregnant-than-me one I didn't see there, but the other has a due date the same week and she looked both way cuter and more pregnant than me. :(

20 week anatomy scan ultrasound

Boring title, but a fun day. We got to see all the little parts of the Guajolote (except that part).

Heart beat: 156 bpm

I was worried it would be a rough day, The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe was up from midnight-4am for work. Then we had to get up at 6:45 to make it to the appointment. And it was the second day in a row he was operating on 4 or fewer hours of sleep due to work.

The ultrasound tech did the uterus, placenta, and brain measurements first. Poor THCSITU was yawning, because it's just a round shape there. But then, more recognizable parts: spine and ribs, little hands waving in front of the face, frog kicks to my bladder as she tried measuring the kidneys (yep, that's the renal system kid, good job...).

We could mostly tell what everything was without having to be told. Since I saw the 1st trimester screening ultrasound too, I knew to expect a black hole for a stomach. But it still looks weird, like a wound or something. It looks like a hole punch on the image.

He* had his little ankles crossed for the last half of the exam.

Guajolote, 21 weeks 2 days:

Ankles crossed. That's the left foot print with the toes of the right foot visible to the bottom right.

The tech offered to tell us her guess as to the sex of the baby, but we declined. So "he" is strictly a place holder still, absolutely may be a "she" instead.

THCSITU had two interesting thoughts: we know when the heartbeat started, and it's going strong even though this Guajolote probably wouldn't make it on the outside right now. It ought to keep on going, and (hopefully) we will not know when it stops. Today was hopefully the last time we will ever see his heart beat.

And also, if the Guajolote's heart is beating inside his body, which is inside of me, and we are STILL peering in to see it.... well if you can't get a little privacy in the womb, where in the hell can you get privacy in this world anymore?

Guajolote, 21 weeks 2 days:

Hand to mouth (mmm practicing future eating?). That's the skull to the right and the bump of the nose, then the hand floating to the right of that.

Bigness

I have to sit down to put on shoes and socks now.

I'm usually a balance-on-one-foot type, because I'm always running late. But now the belly gets between me and my leg, and then the foot - knee has to go out to one side, and then my balance is all off-kilter. So sitting down it is.

And last night THCSITU told me as he walked by: "I don't know how you keep your balance." Because this belly is sticking out in this ridiculous way - and I was standing still with both feet on the ground!

Tricky little bugger...

The Guajolote has been obviously moving around for more than two weeks now, and The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe still hasn't felt him. I know a number of these motions are detectable from the outside, but if I holler to him to come and feel, the little guy stops! Or of course if I get up to give THCSITU a chance to check it out, he quits moving.

I am really looking forward to our only other planned ultrasound, so THCSITU can see the little guy moving around. It's just me getting enormous so far, and not bleeding 6 days a month. No actual tangible babyness - at least he can get a visual indicator. (Not saying he doubts, but it's just not as shared a journey yet as I might think it is.)

*

I do appreciate the motion for keeping me cognizant of what the heck is going on in there. I'm not just getting fat. It's helped me stop drinking any coffee, and kept me away from candy bars and other bad junk. I save my indulgences for good (better?) junk like ice cream or homemade baked goods. Mmm, butter...


* We haven't yet had the opportunity to find out the sex, but we also don't plan to find out until "he" emerges. I just don't like "it" - sounds so impersonal.

This pregnancy brought to you by Old Navy

All these posts on various message boards about which clothes, which jeans, Bella Band or not, will get you through pregnancy and alleviate discomfort - I thought it was a bunch of women making mountains out of molehills.

Well I've got 4 skirts that still go on at all, and sweatpants. And one pair of maternity pants - which isn't too bad, but I'm only 20 weeks. I'll be down to two skirts by next week, I am pretty sure.

But yesterday the maternity/nursing clothes I ordered came! And they are GLORIOUS. I put on the yoga-ish pants and they felt amAZing. Amazing.

Tonight, out for ice cream with my family, I idly mentioned that I should write to Old Navy and see if I can get a sponsorship from them or something (their stuff was on sale, so that's the only place I've ordered). The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe pointed out that I surely have the advertising space available in the front...

Protein!

The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe is very concerned about my protein intake. I am not someone who eats a great deal of protein every day, more of a grain sort of person. Baked goods and pasta will do me for a long long time. I don't get sick of them ever.

However, overall, I think it is helping us to eat healthier at home. If we are going to have porkchops, or lasagne, or something good like that, I am pretty conscious that there's a lot of fat and no fiber in there! So we also have a cooked vegetable and a salad. Otherwise I usually get lazy about making balanced meals.

It's kept our evenings pretty busy though, and our house a disaster. SO MANY dishes are made each day, and we have no dishwasher.

Real movement!

I felt the stereotypical baby motions for the first time today. It was at work, so I sent The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe email about it:

I am eating lentil soup ... (kinda high sodium I think, but it's got bacon and lentils, lots of protein) and I was helping a grad student and I felt him/her/it big time! Not the fish-spinning thing but it was either hands or feet because they were beating 1-2 1-2 really really fast. That's the "fluttering" [people] mentioned I guess. But it was really focused
in one spot [two immediately adjacent points] - whereever his hands and/or feet were. I am guessing it was feet because a baby's arms aren't long enough to reach beyond his head and it was clear over on the [left] side of my abdomen.

Or else the kid hates lentils and was having a tantrum. Or a seizure? :( I thought of that and was worried for a minute...

My best friend's mom had told me about two weeks before that I could feel the baby move by lying on my belly on a firm surface. "You'll feel the most magical fluttering!" she said, delighted. I'm not one for terms like "magical fluttering," but feeling two tiny feet kicking me for all they were worth, and realizing all of a sudden that those are little feet, did send me into some sort of a zone for a minute.

It's only happened the once while I've noticed/been awake. Soon enough it'll be less cute and more uncomfortable, I imagine.

Wiggly baby!

That title's just for clarity. You'd never guess this was a baby. It feels sort of like a fish, or other Unidentified (Floating) Object that spins suddenly, the wiggles off.

18 weeks.

I can feel this (small) Sweet Potato when he/it spins right in the middle. Last night, The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe was already asleep and I experimented. Lying on my back, I put my hand over where the spinning was and just waited. Two times I could feel it with my hand from the exterior (not just the interior). But it would take a good 45-1hr of motionless waiting to guarantee THCSITU would get to feel something. So it wasn't fair to wake him for that.

I am still a little freaked out by the nuchal scan ultrasound. The Guajolote was just lying at the bottom of the placenta, which was at the bottom of the uterus - and flopping like a fish out of water. Not floating, not wiggling. Definitely flopping on his/its side.

Our next prenatal appointment is tomorrow. I am hopeful that I will have surpassed my previous lifetime max weight. Looking at my behind and thighs, it seems a sure bet.

Sexxxy

Subtitle: "Pregnant sex is the best!"

(Enthusiastically stated, a few weeks back, by someone I admire.)

Well, I have my doubts about that but I will say, though it's not happening as frequently as other more-or-less "hot" times in our relationship, it does come easier (pardon the pun). We were fortunate not to have a no-desire 1st trimester - sex life was unchanged. Now... I guess it's more that if I want it, I want it NOW. Certain specific things are not possible anymore, because my lower abdomen doesn't accommodate squishing as much, but otherwise everything's good.

Also I had an almost-sex dream last night. Well, two dreams: in the first, The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe was fighting in a war and his group (platoon? squadron?) had dug small, deep holes and they each had to get in one and were to be buried alive. I was there to say goodbye and we kissed.

In the second one, THCSITU having been disposed of, I was younger, and touring a farm. The animals were on raised, fenced platforms inside of barns. Both the platforms inside and the barns themselves were in a grid. Everything was clean, no straw, feed, poop, smells - which I didn't notice as odd in the dream - but the little ducks and chicks and puppies were just happily tumbling around together in their platforms. Our group, composed of fictionalized versions of orchestra members from high school, was staying in one of these barns, 3 or 4 to a bed. Queue the music, and the foreplay... the boy left for some unexplained reason, and in the meantime my dad took a bed at the other end of the barn! My would-be partner came back and was still fiesty, while I tried to quietly clue him in. That ended the fun, and I woke up.

Ok, so kind of lame. But I'm not one to have sex dreams, so gimme a break.

Update on boobs (so far my boobs are only for sex so they'll be included in this post): They are not dramatically different sizes anymore, but if you were to see them directly (without clothes) what is most obvious is that they are cock-eyed. Pointing in different directions. In my opinion, it's distracting. Why are they looking back at me like that?!

Today, while being, um, squeezed vigorously, they leaked a couple of drops. Sorta freaked out THCSITU, but it had occasionally happened even before this whole pregnancy thing during times when we had lots and lots of sex, so I consider it no big deal.

And, from what I understand, they more or less leak the whole time you breast feed. So... he gots to get over it because mama's gonna want to get laid...

:(

We told my MIL on Saturday. It was a full week after my dad, but the first time we saw her face-to-face since we were ready to tell people.

For family abroad, we can't tell them face-to-face, but I was planning to mail them something or call (depending on who).

First up would be The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe's dad. It will be his first grandkid, and he will be super excited.


But my MIL called tonight to let us know that:

• she already told my FIL's mother (hereafter: Abuelita)
  
• Abuelita is really excited (yeah, duh)
• Abuelita will tell everyone down there (also duh)

I am so upset. It is our first kid, THCSITU's dad's first grandkid... IT IS OUR NEWS TO TELL. He deserves to hear from his son first, not 3rd hand from his mom who heard it from his ex-wife!

THCSITU points out that his dad and Abuelita will just be thrilled to hear the news. That is true, but I have no doubt that they both would have appreciated a personal phone call from HIM. It's got to cross their minds, "Why didn't he call to tell us himself?" Especially his dad will feel that way.

PS I locked my wall on fb. We don't want the news out on the interwebs yet (my name isn't here, so this doesn't count) and all the abroad-family will start responding to their third-hand info that way, since no one will ask them not to when the news is shared.

Telling the fam

I was nervous.

But it was easy. I thought they'd all be weirded out ("You're what? Why?" ... or something), but they were all very celebratory.

My dad told The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe: "Good job!" as they hugged.

Afterwards, THCSITU had a good question: What's the appropriate response to that?

Perhaps:

"Why yes, I have been putting my penis in your daughter's vagina!"

In-laws this coming weekend. This'll be the first grandkid on that side, and she's bugged us for years. Tears? or hollering? I'm thinking tears.

Wiggly!

Today was the 1st Trimester Nuchal Scan Ultrasound. It checks for Downs Syndrome and other stuff. (I do know the details, but not gonna get all technical here.) Came out fine, as expected. Turkey measured 13 wks 5 days, and I was (approximately) 13 wks 1 day on that date. (This means time lapse since start date of last menstrual period, since no one reading this so far has been pregnant. Not a super-exact way to measure time-since-conception-that-happened-about-2 weeks-later.)

But the fun part, of course, was that it was the first ultrasound we would get. It was a 1.5 hr appointment, so I told The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe to get there 15 minutes after the appointment began. That would give me time to fill out the paperwork and get called in without him missing extra work.

D'oh!! I was in an out of the ultrasound room within 10 minutes of arrival. :(

It was really interesting to see the little Guajolote wiggling around, but I was also really disappointed that THCSITU had missed it. :( Which was completely my fault, I made a wrong assumption.

They gave me two images from the ultrasound but on the video monitor it was so clear what parts were what: you could see all the little ribs, the hands wiggling around, little ears, heart beating, black hole of a stomach... the picture is just like every other ultrasound picture you have ever seen. "Oh, is that a baby? How nice..."

Guajolote, 13 weeks 1 day:

Head to the right, white line on the left is the spinal column. In the video you could clearly see the ribs and the little hands waving around. I like the ear too, that's a cute detail.

First Prenatal Visit: there is a heartbeat!

I like the midwife office I picked more and more. They are so low-key and relaxed. I was NOT relaxed on account of being late.

The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe came to the appointment. He acted totally disinterested at first, but he also liked the midwife so once she came in he was friendlier. He was also so cute, reading all the materials we were given by the nurses.

She felt up my uterus and my boobs, but then the fun part (that wasn't fun? No, no it wasn't, thanks though) was hearing the baby on the doppler.

I learned there is lots of static in my abdomen! And there is also a mouse. The midwife said the heartbeat was at 160-170 beats per minute. If I was more on the ball, I would have thought of a piece with that beat and tried it out to see if it fit - have a gauge for myself. :) Tip for you when it is your turn. :)

It kinda freaked me out. It was the proof that yes, there is something in there. Woah.

Afterwards we talked about it together. THCSITU had some interesting observations: that little click-click-click (seriously sounded like a metronome over the doppler) already started a few weeks ago and will keep going for possibly 90 years! Holy smoke.

Then it occurred to me that with a heartbeat so very fast, that tiny tiny heart will beat more times inside of me than it will for the first couple of years outside! That's kind of weird.

Another question we had, is it already four chambers and compressing like our hearts? Or is it a little mass of cells pulsating rhythmically but otherwise unrecognizably? I looked it up since to find out.

Inappropriate

Well, we better have sex now because your baby is totally going to cockblock.

That's gotta be true. No way people have more sex AFTER they have kids.

(That was me saying that. The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe laughed in spite of himself.)