Breaking: Blog Title Now Accurate?

Today I had my annual PAP exam scheduled. Since I couldn't totally rule out pregnancy, I took the one leftover pregnancy test from the pack of three we used 2 years and 8 days ago. Probably scraping your cervix is not advisable during pregnancy, so I figured I should check.

The test was expired since March 2012, around 4 months ago.
Well, you can see what I saw:

I kept the pee in a ziploc for the midwife to test. I showered, emailed, etc. waiting for everyone to wake up.

Just before 8, the Guajolotita opened her own door and came out of her room. No tears, no accident - just like a big kid, but with her sleepy toddler face and all her hair in her eyes. It was the cutest thing!

So we went to wake up The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe. He hugged her, and we all went to pee (potty training is a long process at this age!).

I brought him his glasses, and he says, "What."

I hand him the test. He looks and says, "You're pregnant?"

I sorta rock back on my heels, and nonchalantly say, "Yup."

His response: "What are you, Irish?"

** astute friend observed that Mexican-American people are a rather fast-growing segment of the population! Why'd this Mexican guy decide to lump me with a different bunch of Catholic breeders?

Customer relations: midwife edition

In attempting to find prenatal care, I scheduled appointments with midwife practices near to where we will live when the Guajolote is born, and the hospital with the facility I like best. This was two days after finding out.

I have no clue what I am doing, beyond what the crunchy/christian/conservative/hippie masses of moms say on various forums. I freely admit that. In calls, I asked if I could schedule a consult/interview with a midwife or if it is still too early. All places said to come in. First times available were two weeks away anyhow.

Receptionist:
What's your name?

Me: [my name, first only]

Receptionist:
What?

Me: [my first name - more slowly]

Receptionist:
Hold on. (long pause) Ok, spell your name.

Me: [Spelling three lettters]

Receptionist:
Wait! You are going too fast! (very peeved tone)

Note to gentle readers: My name, while not super common, is IN THE DICTIONARY. It is a word that appears in newspapers daily, and headlines probably at least every two weeks. Besides which, I have a degree in adult education. I have worked with people who are not literate. I know how to facilitate phone communication.

Over the course of our should-have-been-briefer conversation, she made sure that I knew I was inconveniencing her. In the office at the appointment two weeks later, the disorganization was epic - I had to ask 3 times for forms to fill out before getting them 10 minutes after I arrived. And, despite being 10 minutes early, I waited an hour (late) for my appointment.

I picked the other office!!

Signs & Symptoms

You know what's hot?

Oooh yeah.

There was a story recently about a lady pregnant with two babies who have different due dates (so, not twins!). I am unsuprised that this is rare. I can't imagine we could have evolved to be so gross right at the outset of pregnancy and have evolved the ability to make two babies separately-but-in-the-same-gestational-period.

Finding out

I realized about a week before the test that we weren't "in the clear" with respect to possible pregnancy.

The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe just said, "That's interesting!" and laughed when I tried to warn him. At some point over the weekend, when my period was "late for me" but not yet 14 days after ovulation, he looked at my chart and I explained that we should have been more careful on two specific days: June 30th and July 5th. He was out of town July 3rd-July 5th... we were happy to see each other...

Sunday night after laundry I convinced him to go buy a box of pregnancy tests. "Why not just wait a week and see what happens?" he protests. Ha, yeah. I was sure by then already, but obviously he was unconvinced!

I slept 3 hours that night. I woke up, took my temperature, and saw it was 4:14 am. Then I started thinking. About the house, our renovations, my job... money and time concerns. Argh.

Finally at 7 I got up, showered, shaved my legs... tried to kill time until he would wake up. The first alarm went off. I tested once and went to see if The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe, El Bello Durmiente, had gotten up. Not quite. It had been 3 seconds, and those two lines were there.

I grabbed another test, hid the first, and waited for him to shuffle over. I was shaking and trying not to show it. He is asking for his glasses while I say, "Watch this." Stick in cup, cap on stick... *poof* two lines. "Wait wait wait!" he says. "You have to wait 3 minutes!" Ha, I laughed. OK. "I'll get the phone. 3 minutes. Maybe they'll vanish, but I doubt it! Here, look at the first one!" I laid the two together.

So he chuckles. Hugs me. I am sort of shell shocked. Not crying but not excited. Just ... in disbelief?

Guajolote

Holy Smoke.

I am pregnant.

Not totally comfortable with this idea. I think it will weird out my dad and sisters. We are in the middle of buying a house, how will we afford renovations and a baby at the same time? I *just* signed a contract for my job, which has fantastic benefits.

This was a year too soon!

But I bet s/he will be so cute! And I hope adorably fat from the get-go!!