What does it mean?

Any Spanish used in blog posts is hyperlinked to its English translation.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Brief house update

This is to remind my future self of the level of chaos threatening to consume us even though we don't have kids. For Guajolote #2 I will probably think, how the hell am I going to do this?? Fortunately, for Guajolote #1 we are juggling so many things I don't have time to obsess on that particular question (as I otherwise surely would).

  • House is ours
  • 2 months later, we will still not have moved
  • There is no kitchen at all right now (or appliances)
  • We had to replace
  • - furnace and A/C
  • - all interior pipes
  • We are in the process of replacing
  • - water line from the street
  • - all electrical in bldg
  • And then somehow we have to reinstall a kitchen. With what funds, I have no idea.

We plan to move once the repairs are done, despite the lack of a kitchen. This would not be feasible if there were other guajolotes already.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Pregnant gifting (Christmas or otherwise)

Evidently some pregnant people are not in to it.
Here's another blogger chiming in:
After nearly nine long months of giving up so many things for the little person inside and with years of sacrificing for children ahead, I just wanted some stuff for me, dammit! I feel the same way this year. At eight-ish months along there are many things I still need for KID B but I want stuff for me!
I can see that I guess for kid #2, but the plainly stated "I want stuff for me!" is just crass. Ugh.

I totally disagree. I do not need stuff to move from one residence to another in a few weeks. I don't want fragrant things or spa days. Maybe for guajolote #2 something like a gift certificate for a fancy haircut would be appreciated.

This being the first baby however, I don't have even a onesie for him/her. They are super cheap and, in my opinion, inherently thoughtful.

Friday, December 17, 2010

I wonder if this kid turned around?

Sitting in this chair, I had my arm resting across the top of my belly - and the Guajolote totally kicked me off!

That's the very top of my uterus, and it was (relatively) powerful so that's why I guess it was a foot instead of a hand. But what do I know.

Kinda cute though.

When the midwife put the doppler on my belly to listen to the heartbeat today, he* kicked her too.

5th Prenatal Visit

Weight (mine): 154.5 lbs

Heart beat (Guajolote's): 120-130

This is way lower than all the previous times. Also, I feel like the baby is moving much less the last few days than prior to our minor scare. So I don't feel great about that, but the midwife said it didn't mean anything and it's all normal. But still... she said if we are worried, then to be on "cervical rest" for two weeks and heh heh "do it" again and see what happens. Wait, what? TWO WEEKS? Not enthused.

I took the glucose test tonight. Results, if not good, by phone tomorrow. I think they'll be fine though.

Additionally, we are supposed to schedule another ultrasound (yay?) because the last images, when reviewed by a radiologist, don't adequately show the "major arteries": the aorta and something else (not good).

We haven't actually worried about that yet. The midwife said that since the baby has grown, the ultrasound tech will get better/clearer images of these little but important components and everything is probably fine.

PS. 154.5 lbs? holy crap! I'm already more than 20 lbs heavier than I started out!!

PPS. christ I hope that's the least of my worries with this kid.

This baby is a pain in my butt!

My self-diagnosed sciatica was confirmed tonight. It's the only unpleasant symptom I've had in this pregnancy, so I can't complain too much. It is annoying sometimes though:
  • sometimes there is no getting comfortable when trying to sleep
  • getting out of my chair to walk any amount at work is not nice at all
  • I spend way too much time with my left hand on my own ass
  • If I am lying on my back, it takes both arms and a concerted effort to turn over.
This causes the "turtle effect": The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe says I look like a turtle rolled over onto its back. My limbs are waving in a vain attempt to turn myself over, because I assume I should be able to just roll over and sit up.

Cure? Um, give birth. Right, getting on that...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Distorted reality

I have no clue what size I am now. I have 2 pairs of maternity pants and the same maternity shirt in 6 colors - and that's my uniform.

Yesterday, tucking my pants into my winter boots, I thought: "Oh, kinda like skinny jeans!"

NOT. Not at all. My maternity pants just fit so dang well. Which is a good thing - but it fools me. I've got clothes I've had since junior high (not kidding) and they still fit (until August this year). I just don't change that much, so it's hard to realize that I am, in fact, different.

A la Foxworthy:
You might be enormous if...
you see yourself in the mirror and think, "My butt looks pretty good in these [maternity] pants."

Monday, December 13, 2010

Sex *is* allowed

...but one way or another it might freak out all involved.

fair warning: bodily fluids, and my sex life, discussed below
Since the ultrasound, I feel that THCSITU has been physically pretty distant. Additionally, since closing on the house, we have been crazy busy - and that's only going to get worse. Anyhow, sex isn't coming as readily as it did, say, two months ago.

Last night, I successfully changed that, at least for the night. We had a *very* good time. But

That's the first time that's happened for us during pregnancy. Fortunately, I've read enough to know that is par for the course. I reassured THCSITU that the books mention this and it's OK. It rattled me a little though - all night I kept checking, "Is he moving? Oh good." I slept less than 4 hours, I'm sure.

The next morning the nurse sounded very attentive over the phone, but the midwife called back and said as long as the color was getting darker and stopped within a day that it's normal.

So, non-pregnant people, file that one away somewhere in your noggin. Because, per the link above, I didn't find a reputable source in my googling while waiting for the midwife to call back.

The question remains: can I convince THCSITU that it's OK to touch me in that way again before, say, this kid is 3 months old?

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Dress up or, does that come as a muumuu?

Last night was The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe's office Christmas party. This is not just any office party - it is super fancy, mean age is under 30, and the girls are skanked up good. I knew there were going to be 2 other pregnant people there (out of ~200 people), so at least I wouldn't be the only Violet.

Looks OK, right? WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong. It felt like a sack, that horrible heavy polyester grossness that choir robes are made out of. And in the back - there's a reason they don't have the back image! It might's well've been a house dress! It was like a tent.

So it got returned (thank you, 48-hr-try-on policy!!) and the same night I convinced THCSITU to go to Marshall's and help me find a dress.
THCSITU: "Maybe this one"
Me: "Um, that's a size 14..."
THCSITU: "Well, I don't know if they have one bigger..."
I ended up with a range of stuff, from sweater dresses in size S to things in a 14. 3/4 of them fit, and I took about 2/3. Two of those were possible "nice" dresses for this occasion. The next day I took one to the tailor to make it fit the non-belly parts of me and went for a hair cut. The dress had sequins! I never wear sequins.

Given how much he charged, they didn't work the miracle I was hoping for, but with some heels I thought it would be alright. I went in to the party with some confidence... but the pictures we took after belied the truth. I didn't look cute and pregnant, especially in the low lighting of the event. I just looked... chunky. Sigh. :(

PS. the more-pregnant-than-me one I didn't see there, but the other has a due date the same week and she looked both way cuter and more pregnant than me. :(

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Ch ch ch ch changes!

Tonight a habitually confused grad student at work was hosting an event. As he came in to check with me about something, I happened to be standing as I took care of something else. After a question or two, he paused, and pointed, and asked:
"Are you expecting some changes?"
It was such a cute and funny way to ask! I laughed and said yes. He looked genuinely delighted for me and offered many congratulations. A few minutes later he popped in to ask if I'd like to partake of their Christmas goodies at the event - I said thanks and maybe at the end. That wasn't good enough - he came right back with an assortment on a plate for me.

Very sweet. :)

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


"Can you feel the baby move?" everyone wants to know.

"Yes, constantly," is the answer.

It's a nice question, and a nice answer to have. The motions are less "cute" (or "wonderful fluttering") than they were before. Sometimes they make me wince - it's not exactly pain (yet), but the Guajolote is rubbing up against muscles or internal organs of mine or something that just make me feel Ooof! for a second. Some nights I am really beat, more tired than usual. On the other nights, where I am just normally-tired or not sleepy yet, the movement will keep me awake.

I am a little disappointed that THCSITU has not really felt the baby move yet. I think it freaks him out a little bit. Since the ultrasound, he doesn't touch me as readily in general.

Whenever I am still - reading, or at the computer, the Guajolote will start moving around and if the motions are strong I yell "Hey!! C'mere!!" and he dutifully trots over. But, invariably, my shifting position for his hand or just having yelled quiets the kid (I should be so lucky!) and there's nothing strong enough to feel on the outside.

Oh well. In another couple of months I hear that outlines of hands and feet can be visible through the belly - I guess he won't be able to miss them then!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

20 week anatomy scan ultrasound

Boring title, but a fun day. We got to see all the little parts of the Guajolote (except that part).

Heart beat: 156 bpm

I was worried it would be a rough day, The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe was up from midnight-4am for work. Then we had to get up at 6:45 to make it to the appointment. And it was the second day in a row he was operating on 4 or fewer hours of sleep due to work.

The ultrasound tech did the uterus, placenta, and brain measurements first. Poor THCSITU was yawning, because it's just a round shape there. But then, more recognizable parts: spine and ribs, little hands waving in front of the face, frog kicks to my bladder as she tried measuring the kidneys (yep, that's the renal system kid, good job...).

We could mostly tell what everything was without having to be told. Since I saw the 1st trimester screening ultrasound too, I knew to expect a black hole for a stomach. But it still looks weird, like a wound or something. It looks like a hole punch on the image.

He* had his little ankles crossed for the last half of the exam.
Guajolote, 21 weeks 2 days:
Ankles crossed. That's the left foot print with the toes of the right foot visible to the bottom right.

The tech offered to tell us her guess as to the sex of the baby, but we declined. So "he" is strictly a place holder still, absolutely may be a "she" instead.

THCSITU had two interesting thoughts: we know when the heartbeat started, and it's going strong even though this Guajolote probably wouldn't make it on the outside right now. It ought to keep on going, and (hopefully) we will not know when it stops. Today was hopefully the last time we will ever see his heart beat.

And also, if the Guajolote's heart is beating inside his body, which is inside of me, and we are STILL peering in to see it.... well if you can't get a little privacy in the womb, where in the hell can you get privacy in this world anymore?
Guajolote, 21 weeks 2 days:
Hand to mouth (mmm practicing future eating?). That's the skull to the right and the bump of the nose, then the hand floating to the right of that.

Thursday, November 11, 2010


I have to sit down to put on shoes and socks now.

I'm usually a balance-on-one-foot type, because I'm always running late. But now the belly gets between me and my leg, and then the foot - knee has to go out to one side, and then my balance is all off-kilter. So sitting down it is.

And last night THCSITU told me as he walked by: "I don't know how you keep your balance." Because this belly is sticking out in this ridiculous way - and I was standing still with both feet on the ground!

Tricky little bugger...

The Guajolote has been obviously moving around for more than two weeks now, and The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe still hasn't felt him. I know a number of these motions are detectable from the outside, but if I holler to him to come and feel, the little guy stops! Or of course if I get up to give THCSITU a chance to check it out, he quits moving.

I am really looking forward to our only other planned ultrasound, so THCSITU can see the little guy moving around. It's just me getting enormous so far, and not bleeding 6 days a month. No actual tangible babyness - at least he can get a visual indicator. (Not saying he doubts, but it's just not as shared a journey yet as I might think it is.)


I do appreciate the motion for keeping me cognizant of what the heck is going on in there. I'm not just getting fat. It's helped me stop drinking any coffee, and kept me away from candy bars and other bad junk. I save my indulgences for good (better?) junk like ice cream or homemade baked goods. Mmm, butter...

* We haven't yet had the opportunity to find out the sex, but we also don't plan to find out until "he" emerges. I just don't like "it" - sounds so impersonal.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

This pregnancy brought to you by Old Navy

All these posts on various message boards about which clothes, which jeans, Bella Band or not, will get you through pregnancy and alleviate discomfort - I thought it was a bunch of women making mountains out of molehills.

Well I've got 4 skirts that still go on at all, and sweatpants. And one pair of maternity pants - which isn't too bad, but I'm only 20 weeks. I'll be down to two skirts by next week, I am pretty sure.

But yesterday the maternity/nursing clothes I ordered came! And they are GLORIOUS. I put on the yoga-ish pants and they felt amAZing. Amazing.

Tonight, out for ice cream with my family, I idly mentioned that I should write to Old Navy and see if I can get a sponsorship from them or something (their stuff was on sale, so that's the only place I've ordered). The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe pointed out that I surely have the advertising space available in the front...

busy two weeks

Apologies for not having posted - not that there are legions of followers, but the intention is to record things that otherwise will be forgotten, and that doesn't work well if you don't record anything. I will post several short things backdated to the date of occurrence, etc.

Monday, November 8, 2010

We got the loan

We are going to buy this house.

We did get a loan that allows us to keep some of our cash to make the repairs now. Electrical overhaul, plumbing reinstall street-to-faucet, brick repairs, shoring up the porch... there's a long long way to go before this Guajolote gets here!!

Closing is Friday. We are meeting a contractor in the morning, signing at lunch. Then... it's our problem. Ulp.

Sunday, November 7, 2010


The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe is very concerned about my protein intake. I am not someone who eats a great deal of protein every day, more of a grain sort of person. Baked goods and pasta will do me for a long long time. I don't get sick of them ever.

However, overall, I think it is helping us to eat healthier at home. If we are going to have porkchops, or lasagne, or something good like that, I am pretty conscious that there's a lot of fat and no fiber in there! So we also have a cooked vegetable and a salad. Otherwise I usually get lazy about making balanced meals.

It's kept our evenings pretty busy though, and our house a disaster. SO MANY dishes are made each day, and we have no dishwasher.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Future Moby Dick?

Scene: a work function, at which I am one of the guests of honor. There is (delicious!) chocolate mousse cake.

Players: me and two other women, all standing around having cake.

Context: 19 weeks pregnant. Only 4 skirts, and sweatpants, will go on me at this point. Maternity clothes ordered, but not yet arrived.

One of these women I know a little bit and I like her a lot. She's a working mom and I think she's just awesome. She's got 3 kids, most recently twins (a few years ago).

Lady: Oh, you are so tall. You have lots of space to carry your pregnancy. Tall women can look so elegant when pregnant.*

Me (laughing): I think short women look so cute pregnant! Like little snowmen, so jolly!

Lady (taking a step back and looking at me): Wow, your body has changed a lot in the last 3 weeks. If you are that big already, you are going to get REALLY big. (pause) I'm not trying to scare you or anything.

Coming from a 5'3" or so lady who had twins - and looks just great after having done so - her estimation of "big" ought to carry some significance. But which way is it? Am I carrying well, or am I going to be wheeled around because my ankles can't support my enormous mass by the 30th week?

It didn't bother me at all, maybe because I've never been heavy, and I like her. It was just a really funny juxtaposition of comments. Maybe I touched a nerve with the "snowman" comment? (But really, I think short pregnant ladies look so adorable!)

* I am not elegant when not pregnant, so being relegated to the frumpiest articles of clothing I have, and becoming this odd shape and size, is not making me more elegant.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Real movement!

I felt the stereotypical baby motions for the first time today. It was at work, so I sent The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe email about it:
I am eating lentil soup ... (kinda high sodium I think, but it's got bacon and lentils, lots of protein) and I was helping a grad student and I felt him/her/it big time! Not the fish-spinning thing but it was either hands or feet because they were beating 1-2 1-2 really really fast. That's the "fluttering" [people] mentioned I guess. But it was really focused
in one spot [two immediately adjacent points] - whereever his hands and/or feet were. I am guessing it was feet because a baby's arms aren't long enough to reach beyond his head and it was clear over on the [left] side of my abdomen.

Or else the kid hates lentils and was having a tantrum. Or a seizure? :( I thought of that and was worried for a minute...
My best friend's mom had told me about two weeks before that I could feel the baby move by lying on my belly on a firm surface. "You'll feel the most magical fluttering!" she said, delighted. I'm not one for terms like "magical fluttering," but feeling two tiny feet kicking me for all they were worth, and realizing all of a sudden that those are little feet, did send me into some sort of a zone for a minute.

It's only happened the once while I've noticed/been awake. Soon enough it'll be less cute and more uncomfortable, I imagine.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Working moms' dismay

"Breast is best," etc. Straight men everywhere probably agree that boobs are better than no boobs or even less boobs (no, I don't mean fewer).

The categories of Women who identify as women and Straight men who like boobs together probably encompass a significant pro-boob majority of the population.

None of those people work at the IRS:
Acne Cream? Tax-sheltered. Breast Pump? No.

The headline oughtta read:
IRS keeps boobs from babies, increasing preventable diseases in yet another generation.
I haven't gotten one yet, but I know there are cheap breast pumps and nice breast pumps. Women at all levels of the pay scale benefit from a breast pump that is fast, and doesn't rip your nipples off. That doesn't come cheap. From the caption:
A breast pump and various accessories can run about $500 to $1,000 for most mothers a year.
I would say that "most mothers" are at the low end of that scale, and that's not a strictly annual cost - that's including the cost of the pump itself which hopefully will last the duration of the time you nurse your child. Kids with allergies may need to be nursed till age 2. That's a long time to either a) have your nipples ripped off by a crappy pump or b) get permission from your employer to be gone for stretches of time each day to pump with a second-rate pump.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

3rd Prenatal Visit

I clock in at... 146 pounds! (almost - a couple of ounces shy I think)

Heatbeat was at.... 148-150! (same as last time)

And I am supposed to eat lots and lots of protein.

Tonight I substituted an entire tray of oatmeal raisin cookies.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Wiggly baby!

That title's just for clarity. You'd never guess this was a baby. It feels sort of like a fish, or other Unidentified (Floating) Object that spins suddenly, the wiggles off.

18 weeks.

I can feel this (small) Sweet Potato when he/it spins right in the middle. Last night, The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe was already asleep and I experimented. Lying on my back, I put my hand over where the spinning was and just waited. Two times I could feel it with my hand from the exterior (not just the interior). But it would take a good 45-1hr of motionless waiting to guarantee THCSITU would get to feel something. So it wasn't fair to wake him for that.

I am still a little freaked out by the nuchal scan ultrasound. The Guajolote was just lying at the bottom of the placenta, which was at the bottom of the uterus - and flopping like a fish out of water. Not floating, not wiggling. Definitely flopping on his/its side.

Our next prenatal appointment is tomorrow. I am hopeful that I will have surpassed my previous lifetime max weight. Looking at my behind and thighs, it seems a sure bet.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

More brains

Well heck. "What to Expect When You're Expecting" has a list of foods that cause gas. Onions are on the list. They make me burp for like 2 hrs now. But.... Mexican food has onions. There's no way around it.

After a childhood spent hating onions, I have embraced them in most forms. Maybe I was right all along and they are the enemy??

I woke up sometime, then went back to bed at 4:30. At 5:30, I gave up. I was too hungry to sleep. But this egg-and-toast has left my stomach feel all burn-y. Salt and black pepper - I have that on an egg every day!

I guess I'll brush and floss again and see if I can ignore the burning and fall asleep...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

It's not just me.

It does happen to all pregnant people!

How are you feeeeeeling?

Although the people enquiring after my well-being nowadays are not weird about it, as described in the above link - they are just trying to be considerate.

It's still weird. But I'm adjusting.

Mmm Brains Braaaiiiiiinnnns

Zombie HUNGRY.

Despite the chicken-skin-fest that was dinner 7 hrs ago, I'm hungry. I'd probably always be hungry at this time, I guess, since I wake up and eat a lot most mornings now. BUT I AM SUPPOSED TO BE ASLEEP.

At least I'm coping with it better now.

I blame it on the "house." In quotation marks because
  • it's not a single-family home
  • it's not ours yet
but whether this house is the right decision is stressing me out big time. Convenient, since we're already committed to it. Ugh.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Fat pants

I wore pants today! For the first time in weeks!

They were super hot: all-around elastic waistband, with all-around drawstring inside.

It was nice to have warm legs today though.

Guess I better pick up the other maternity pants I ordered.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Vagin-WE (royal we)

If you haven't read this article, do it now. Aside from the tone, which is sometimes preachy, the content is hilarious. Unbelievable, from my stateside viewpoint.

Everyone and her mother blogged about it, so I left it alone. But I saw it come up again today with just a FABulous line:
"...holy crap! A magic dildo? From the Feds? I’m used to getting screwed by the government, but not in a good way."

link to post


Except the tiny unfunny part is that I am terrified our sex life/my vagina will never recover. I know, I know, it has to. We are not, evolutionarily, a one-child species, so the thing continues to function. But... I'm not scared of the pain - it'll be more than I can handle, so I'm not trying to imagine it or pretend I'll be in control. But my vagina... I love my vagina...

Things people say

I've already learned to expect to be rubbed/grabbed in a way I never have been before. Maybe my butt has grown so that people are just intimidated by its mass now? But no, that would mean they'd cower in fear at my belly instead of reach for it.

Which is fine. I have read about that, so it was vaguely expected, and I tend to interact via touch anyhow.

But good lord, the things people say.

The two best so far:
  • There is no "Hello": When greeting a pregnant person, instead you must ask: "How are you feeling?" News flash: THIS IS NOT A TERMINAL ILLNESS.
  • The other is an anecdote:
A wonderful sweet woman, mom to several kids, understanding and kind, was jovially welcoming me to the mom-club, so to speak. She asked, in front of two other people, "Are you ready?"

I laughed and replied, "Of course not!" Thinking, of course, like I think any reasonable person ought, that there's no way to prepare for the lifelong tornado that is parenthood.

Her immediate response:
"Oh, it wasn't planned?"


Saturday, October 16, 2010


Subtitle: "Pregnant sex is the best!"

(Enthusiastically stated, a few weeks back, by someone I admire.)

Well, I have my doubts about that but I will say, though it's not happening as frequently as other more-or-less "hot" times in our relationship, it does come easier (pardon the pun). We were fortunate not to have a no-desire 1st trimester - sex life was unchanged. Now... I guess it's more that if I want it, I want it NOW. Certain specific things are not possible anymore, because my lower abdomen doesn't accommodate squishing as much, but otherwise everything's good.

Also I had an almost-sex dream last night. Well, two dreams: in the first, The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe was fighting in a war and his group (platoon? squadron?) had dug small, deep holes and they each had to get in one and were to be buried alive. I was there to say goodbye and we kissed.

In the second one, THCSITU having been disposed of, I was younger, and touring a farm. The animals were on raised, fenced platforms inside of barns. Both the platforms inside and the barns themselves were in a grid. Everything was clean, no straw, feed, poop, smells - which I didn't notice as odd in the dream - but the little ducks and chicks and puppies were just happily tumbling around together in their platforms. Our group, composed of fictionalized versions of orchestra members from high school, was staying in one of these barns, 3 or 4 to a bed. Queue the music, and the foreplay... the boy left for some unexplained reason, and in the meantime my dad took a bed at the other end of the barn! My would-be partner came back and was still fiesty, while I tried to quietly clue him in. That ended the fun, and I woke up.

Ok, so kind of lame. But I'm not one to have sex dreams, so gimme a break.

Update on boobs (so far my boobs are only for sex so they'll be included in this post): They are not dramatically different sizes anymore, but if you were to see them directly (without clothes) what is most obvious is that they are cock-eyed. Pointing in different directions. In my opinion, it's distracting. Why are they looking back at me like that?!

Today, while being, um, squeezed vigorously, they leaked a couple of drops. Sorta freaked out THCSITU, but it had occasionally happened even before this whole pregnancy thing during times when we had lots and lots of sex, so I consider it no big deal.

And, from what I understand, they more or less leak the whole time you breast feed. So... he gots to get over it because mama's gonna want to get laid...

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


We told my MIL on Saturday. It was a full week after my dad, but the first time we saw her face-to-face since we were ready to tell people.

For family abroad, we can't tell them face-to-face, but I was planning to mail them something or call (depending on who).

First up would be The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe's dad. It will be his first grandkid, and he will be super excited.

But my MIL called tonight to let us know that:
  • she already told my FIL's mother (hereafter: Abuelita)
  • Abuelita is really excited (yeah, duh)
  • Abuelita will tell everyone down there (also duh)
I am so upset. It is our first kid, THCSITU's dad's first grandkid... IT IS OUR NEWS TO TELL. He deserves to hear from his son first, not 3rd hand from his mom who heard it from his ex-wife!

THCSITU points out that his dad and Abuelita will just be thrilled to hear the news. That is true, but I have no doubt that they both would have appreciated a personal phone call from HIM. It's got to cross their minds, "Why didn't he call to tell us himself?" Especially his dad will feel that way.

PS I locked my wall on fb. We don't want the news out on the interwebs yet (my name isn't here, so this doesn't count) and all the abroad-family will start responding to their third-hand info that way, since no one will ask them not to when the news is shared.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Telling the fam

I was nervous.

But it was easy. I thought they'd all be weirded out ("You're what? Why?" ... or something), but they were all very celebratory.

My dad told The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe: "Good job!" as they hugged.

Afterwards, THCSITU had a good question: What's the appropriate response to that?

"Why yes, I have been putting my penis in your daughter's vagina!"

In-laws this coming weekend. This'll be the first grandkid on that side, and she's bugged us for years. Tears? or hollering? I'm thinking tears.

Monday, October 4, 2010


Guys, guys.

One boob is visibly larger than the other. And I think the dichotomy is getting worse. AAAH!

I was glad that my tiny boobs would finally become adult female sized. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.

(So far only visible when undressed but I can feel the freaking difference hanging off my front now. Ugh. Ugh. UGH!)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Battle faces!

Brunch this morning with MIL's family. A table full of middle-aged Mexican ladies. These are women with 6 different pregnancy radars. If they guess, I am done for because they will jump all over the idea, the entire restaurant will be informed, and possibly phone calls will be made to Mexico at that moment as well. (THCSITU probably disagrees. I may be exaggerating on that point. But the entire waitstaff of the restaurant certainly would be informed.)

We have dinner just us and MIL at her house next week, so I was thinking to tell her then. She will be thrilled. But today would be a circus.

Then afternoon/evening is my whole family. These are not people constantly checking for pregnancy, but nonetheless: gotta plan what to wear carefully!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


While out of the country, I was outed for the first time. A woman working in a family-owned hotel bounded over, 2 hours after we arrived (unwashed and sleepless), and patted my tummy as I slouched on a couch checking email via the phone. "Baby?!?" she hopefully cried.

I was a little embarrassed. It was also the first incident of pregnant-belly-touching - though at that time I could still (with effort) button my low-rise jeans so the belly wasn't much.

It happened again today back at work. A lovely lady whom I like very much was chatting with me about our trip, and at the end she remarked I hadn't gained weight, despite going on and on about how great the food was. "Yes," I replied, "as I was telling you, we walked so much every day!" D'oh! That did me in. Her suspicions confirmed, she gestured at my stomach. "Are you...?" Yikes! My days of keeping it on the DL are clearly numbered. (This is one reason it's a secret.)

I saw my dad and sister two days ago, as far as I know they don't know. Also, I work with very few moms. All the women that most frequently interact with me do not have kids, so I think they will lack the eagle eye of moms-who-aren't-having-more-kids.

That being said, I know the next time I see my MIL, it's all over there.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


Today was the 1st Trimester Nuchal Scan Ultrasound. It checks for Downs Syndrome and other stuff. (I do know the details, but not gonna get all technical here.) Came out fine, as expected. Turkey measured 13 wks 5 days, and I was (approximately) 13 wks 1 day on that date. (This means time lapse since start date of last menstrual period, since no one reading this so far has been pregnant. Not a super-exact way to measure time-since-conception-that-happened-about-2 weeks-later.)

But the fun part, of course, was that it was the first ultrasound we would get. It was a 1.5 hr appointment, so I told The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe to get there 15 minutes after the appointment began. That would give me time to fill out the paperwork and get called in without him missing extra work.

D'oh!! I was in an out of the ultrasound room within 10 minutes of arrival. :(

It was really interesting to see the little Guajolote wiggling around, but I was also really disappointed that THCSITU had missed it. :( Which was completely my fault, I made a wrong assumption.

They gave me two images from the ultrasound but on the video monitor it was so clear what parts were what: you could see all the little ribs, the hands wiggling around, little ears, heart beating, black hole of a stomach... the picture is just like every other ultrasound picture you have ever seen. "Oh, is that a baby? How nice..."
Guajolote, 13 weeks 1 day:
Head to the right, white line on the left is the spinal column. In the video you could clearly see the ribs and the little hands waving around. I like the ear too, that's a cute detail.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

First Prenatal Visit: there is a heartbeat!

I like the midwife office I picked more and more. They are so low-key and relaxed. I was NOT relaxed on account of being late.

The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe came to the appointment. He acted totally disinterested at first, but he also liked the midwife so once she came in he was friendlier. He was also so cute, reading all the materials we were given by the nurses.

She felt up my uterus and my boobs, but then the fun part (that wasn't fun? No, no it wasn't, thanks though) was hearing the baby on the doppler.

I learned there is lots of static in my abdomen! And there is also a mouse. The midwife said the heartbeat was at 160-170 beats per minute. If I was more on the ball, I would have thought of a piece with that beat and tried it out to see if it fit - have a gauge for myself. :) Tip for you when it is your turn. :)

It kinda freaked me out. It was the proof that yes, there is something in there. Woah.

Afterwards we talked about it together. THCSITU had some interesting observations: that little click-click-click (seriously sounded like a metronome over the doppler) already started a few weeks ago and will keep going for possibly 90 years! Holy smoke.

Then it occurred to me that with a heartbeat so very fast, that tiny tiny heart will beat more times inside of me than it will for the first couple of years outside! That's kind of weird.

Another question we had, is it already four chambers and compressing like our hearts? Or is it a little mass of cells pulsating rhythmically but otherwise unrecognizably? I looked it up since to find out.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

No room here.

I was late. I tried grabbing a cab, but the one I stopped was on the way to a pickup. So I booked it the mile+ from the train up to the midwife office, plus having to detour to not be spotted by family en route. About five minutes before the end of the journey, I saw another cab. Huzzah! I would just make it in time!

He refused me a ride. That totally pissed me off, especially because it was on the grounds that my destination was no within walkable distance. "It's just, like, 3-4 blocks!" he says.

I KNOW where I am going. I happen to be late. Can I pay you to drive me a quarter freaking mile, please? Since that is your profession??

Also I moved many boxes and some mattresses the day before. Uterus kicked in with a vengeance afterwards, and all that hustling across town 24 hrs later made me feel all tender over there.

But whatev, cabbie. It's cool. Sorry I offered to pay you for 3 minutes of your time.

You are what you eat

I got this today via email:

10 PreNatal Power Foods from 100 Healthiest Foods to Eat during Pregnancy

Does Chipotle count?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Symptoms: from bad to... gone?

Argh feeling worried. Feeling worried because I feel totally normal.

This post is a boring account of aches and pains. Just chronicling them so that I have a reference.

Over the weekend, I felt pretty terrible. Friday night and Saturday night I only slept 4-6 hours, which of course were punctuated with trips to the bathroom. Saturday I had to lay down for a while mid day because I felt dizzy and sick. Not like actually throwing up, but just really crappy in the stomach-type area. Saturday night my uterus was cramping horribly, I was sort of bent over to finish putting the laundry away. It cramped like that up through Sunday morning, then that went away. I checked my nipples but couldn't figure out if they were less sore, or it was all in my head.

Monday I was totally exhausted. It as as though I had been at work 12 hours after just 5. And then I had to keep working 9.

The websites I looked up said that at 9 weeks, the uterus grows a whole bunch and can cause cramping, so I thought it could be normal maybe, and growing more tissue could lead to the exhaustion too.

But now today, Tuesday, I feel... fine. I didn't eat as much as I ought, but I felt *hungry* instead of ill. My nipples are definitely not sore. I had so much more energy today, even after going to the gym in the morning.

And I am wondering, wtf?


Monday, August 16, 2010


Well, we better have sex now because your baby is totally going to cockblock.

That's gotta be true. No way people have more sex AFTER they have kids.

(That was me saying that. The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe laughed in spite of himself.)

Sunday, August 15, 2010


Ugh so after the previous post, I went to bed. And laid there. And realized I felt yucky. I had very little protein of any kind yesterday, pretty much only the beans in the Pasta e Fagiole at Pompei around 7pm. So I toss and turn, trying to find the position where my stomach doesn't revolt, which bothers The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe, and I finally get up, knowing I won't sleep until I eat.

So I am shuffling around the kitchen in the dark to wash a pan and make an egg (with toast). Crying because I am so pissed off that I have to eat NOW and brush and floss AGAIN and not only was I up from 2:30 till 4 but now it'll be more like 5 before I sleep.

And sure enough, at 8-something I have to pee again and that is it. No more sleeping. Ugh.

STTN? wtf.

STTN is shorthand on parenting message boards for Sleeping Through The Night, as in "My kid isn't!" or "When did you kid finally?"

However this is a subject I think about several times a week, although this Guajolote won't be here till March. As it is, this is the second time in this week I've gotten up at a stupid hour because I am hungry. Actually I wake up because I have to pee, and then can't sleep again right away because of being hungry. At least today I figure I can go back to sleep. Friday morning I woke up at 4:51am and that was it for the night. :(

Side note: this "hunger" is weird. I still feel mostly full, where my belly is sort of poking out (I'm almost 8 weeks, so it's not poking out because of that yet.) but also hungry. I can scarf down fruit, for instance. But it doesn't feel like a bowl of cereal would fit in there. It's the same at work during the day, I go from eating, to feeling hungry-but-not, to vaguely ill, to I-might-kill-you ravenous. Annoying.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Buying a house

So scary. Needs fixing. We don't know how to fix it, and we won't have the cash to get it all done. But since we ahve to buy soon or we could end up homeless (or at least ineligible to purchase), we might just go ahead and do it anyhow. Ugh. Not like us. (As a couple. Pretty like me in college, though.)

Pregnancy symptoms

I have none.

Well, almost none. At 7 1/2 weeks, I ought to have morning sickness if I am going to get it. But I don't. I don't have headaches, and I no longer have extreme exhaustion (or I am ignoring it, also possible).

The rundown right now is just this:
  • sore nipples (which I don't even notice because it's been a month, so it's my new normal)
  • have to pee kind of a lot
  • I feel bad/vaguely ill/gross more often than hungry, but eating fixes that
  • eating is much less fun
I love to eat. Eating and having coffee is what makes each work day fun. Now in the late afternoons I feel doldrum-y from 3-6 or so. I still eat (so I don't feel crappy) but it's not the psychological pick-me-up it was before.

Today I wanted Joy Yee's lemon basil stirfry for lunch. But I knew if I went down there, ordered, and waited for my food, I would eat two bites and again feel "meh."

The little things in life should bring joy. I hope this "whatever, I'll eat it" response to food goes away after the Guajolote gets here and I can be thrilled again about leftover cornbread with jam and afternoon coffee.

Post script: maybe since I am eating before I identify that I am hungry, the food is less enjoyable?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

SLEEP beautiful sleep

I slept through the night!

I think it was even more than 6 hrs!!

That is the first time in 3 weeks that I did not get up to pee during the night. It was glorious!

I see on these forums that I am reading where pregnant people seem to get antsy the last month of pregnancy or so, which I imagine is pretty uncomfortable. Other moms always counsel, "Relax! Try to get lots of sleep before the baby comes!" I'm thinking, if I can't sleep through the night at 4 weeks pregnant, who the hell can sleep through the night at 38 weeks pregnant?? Not a chance.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Customer relations: midwife edition

In attempting to find prenatal care, I scheduled appointments with midwife practices near to where we will live when the Guajolote is born, and the hospital with the facility I like best. This was two days after finding out.

I have no clue what I am doing, beyond what the crunchy/christian/conservative/hippie masses of moms say on various forums. I freely admit that. In calls, I asked if I could schedule a consult/interview with a midwife or if it is still too early. All places said to come in. First times available were two weeks away anyhow.

What's your name?

: [my name, first only]


: [my first name - more slowly]

Hold on. (long pause) Ok, spell your name.

: [Spelling three lettters]

Wait! You are going too fast! (very peeved tone)

Note to gentle readers: My name, while not super common, is IN THE DICTIONARY. It is a word that appears in newspapers daily, and headlines probably at least every two weeks. Besides which, I have a degree in adult education. I have worked with people who are not literate. I know how to facilitate phone communication.

Over the course of our should-have-been-briefer conversation, she made sure that I knew I was inconveniencing her. In the office at the appointment two weeks later, the disorganization was epic - I had to ask 3 times for forms to fill out before getting them 10 minutes after I arrived. And, despite being 10 minutes early, I waited an hour (late) for my appointment.

I picked the other office!!

Keeping secrets!

Another major life event I'm keeping on the DL. Bad habit I've grown. Surprising for a girl who can't keep her mouth shut usually - The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe must've worn off some on me.

Last weekend I was at a breast cancer awareness/fundraiser event with my dad & grandparents. My dad was definitely suspicious because I went to the bathroom like 6 times in one evening. I threw him off the scent the next day though and he bought it. Climbing up and down the hill we were on really stressed my bladder out. Come to think, that's the last day so far that I really had cramps.

Then tonight, I interviewed another midwife practice and decided to go with them. The midwife gave me some handouts, including one with information on birth classes... which I left on the counter at my dad's house! Boy did I race back in from the car when I realized it wasn't in my bag... got it though. Phew.

In other news, we will see the heartbeat at the end of August!! Yay little turkey!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

TMI : things I guess it's good I *didn't* know before getting knocked up

Interminable bleeding (explains some no-sex-after-baby):
First the placenta separates from the uterus, exposing open blood vessels, and then the uterus shrinks down from over 2 pounds to just a mere couple of ounces, expelling blood, mucus and tissue as it does. You also have to figure that the amount of blood in your body increased by about 50 percent during your pregnancy, and now it’s time for things to go back to normal.... The bleeding may last anywhere from a couple of weeks to a full six, with possible spotting even later.
That's a turn off if there ever was one. And inconvenient - I have to be diapering myself at least as often as the baby. Ugh.

Constant cramping:
Your uterus is contracting as it shrinks back down to size, so the pain will be less intense than when it was pushing out a baby but still enough to be uncomfortable.... [Feeding baby triggers *more* cramping]... The pain should subside after a week or so.
In combination with the no-sleep, sure to make me a horrible person to be around.

And of course, never sleeping again:
Just to have five hours of uninterrupted rest probably sounds as close to bliss as you can imagine, yet it seems as though that will never happen – ever again. Don’t worry, it will, but we have to admit that most babies still wake to feed every two to three hours (sometimes stretching it to four hours at night if you have an exceptionally considerate baby) for the first six to eight weeks – give or take. And then it will most likely be another few months before the baby is sleeping through the night.

I am terrified I will hate staying home with a baby. Even my baby. Lack of sleep makes me very snappy. Chronic exhaustion, constant pain, bleeding all the time (possibly making extra laundry?)... well, that might just send me over the edge. Obviously, I don't *know*, but I'm worried.

Having read all that, I burst into tears at the beach today remembering that I will be physically decrepit and that this might be the last time I ever in my life look cute in a bikini.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Vagin-us? : Why ruin a perfectly good vagina?

I had absolutely no desire to even try until about 16 weeks ... It was pretty painful the first few times and honestly, it has only started feeling normal [after 11] months or so...

Is our life over ?!? If we are not both enjoying the sex, it just doesn't happen. The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe doesn't work just for himself, he just can't. But I have a hard time imagining a sexy time when I am enormous, and then maybe not for .... 11 months after?!? That's gotta be divorce right there, it might be a YEAR are you kidding me?

Pregnancy Dreams?

"They" say you can have weird dreams during pregnancy. I maintain you can have weird dreams anytime you are sleeping, but here were last night's:

  1. Brother in Law, The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe, and me commandeered a plane a la the Barefoot Bandit but it was a huge airliner. There was contraband on board, but disguised I think - we sort of touched down on a peninsula and took off weaving our way through fancy malls and hotels nearby. We ended up strolling like tourists.
  2. Interlude to get up to pee. Because sleeping through the night is a Thing of the Past.

  3. State Budget Cuts forced all waves/music units to be cut from introductory Physics courses. I went to visit my high school Physics teacher (who is awesome) and he suggested we go sit in a cafe and talk about ideas for creative lessons. We ride his one piece wooden bike/scooter, but hit a dead end. While he is investigating, two chickens fall/jump on to me! I can feel their impact as if it were real, but for some reason they feel sort of... plush?


Friday, July 23, 2010

Intuition, Suegra edition (or: Lo sospeché desde un principio)

So going to see the mother in law tonight, The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe said that he thought his mom would guess before we tell her. We don't plan to tell anybody until after first trimester or first ultrasound, whichever is later. So that's a good two months away.

I think she won't guess, because we will be traveling for the last two weeks of the first trimester and too busy getting ready to leave to see her very often.

But I do think that whenever we tell her, she will say, "I knew it!" If we told her tonight that I was 13 wks pregnant (which I am not), she would come out with several reasons that had her allegedly "knowing" in advance: we are trying to buy a house, we are taking a trip, who knows what else. Hindsight being 20/20 she will posit all the "clues."

So just writing this now, and in a couple months I will have a reference to go back and see. :-P

P.S. For what it's worth, THCSITU thought I was giving myself away by "eating a lot." Guys, I eat. It's what I do. I'm pretty damn good at it.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Har har.

I texted The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe that I had checked some financial records and I totally had one part of home-buying costs covered. He writes back, "Yes, but just barely," and explained that the amount is calculated differently than I'd realized.
We are still BARELY in the clear then! Argh.

But that should be enough though.

Yeah... but I don't feel like a big man anymore.

I bet you'll feel like a big woman later.



So you wanted to live someplace?

Mortgage lenders are taking a harder look at prospective borrowers whose income has temporarily fallen while they are on leave, including new parents at home taking care of a baby. Even if a parent plans on returning to work within weeks, some lenders are balking at approving the loans.


So before some prospective parents start spending their Sundays at open houses, they should be prepared to deal with some complications. They may have to delay the purchase, deal with the banks’ bureaucracy (and requests for extra paperwork) or buy a home they can afford on one salary.

Thank goodness our closing date is more than 7 months before the guajolote's due date...

Signs & Symptoms

You know what's hot?

Oooh yeah.

There was a story recently about a lady pregnant with two babies who have different due dates (so, not twins!). I am unsuprised that this is rare. I can't imagine we could have evolved to be so gross right at the outset of pregnancy and have evolved the ability to make two babies separately-but-in-the-same-gestational-period.

First Doctor Visit

So, though lots of online fora (or "forums" for the Hoi Polloi) say that doctors don't want to see people till they are 6 weeks + , the office I go to said to come in.

"What are you coming in for." (It was not phrased as a question.)
"I found out I'm pregnant this morning. Do I have to come in or something?"
"I found out I'm pregnant this morning. Do I have to come in or something?"
(slightly friendlier tone?)"You have to have your pregnancy confirmed to receive prenatal care. You can come in tomorrow."

So fine, I go in today... and they have me pee in a cup. Dudes, I did that at home. Really. The resident... not wearing a coat so maybe just a student?... was nervous and had a hard time asking questions like:
"Are you planning to continue the pregnancy?"
"Is the father involved?"

I tried not to crack up.

She left to go "figure out" my due date - spin the pregnancy wheel, I imagine - based upon first day of last period (most accurate method ever!) and comes back, sounding annoyed (or perhaps just surprised?): "You are 4 weeks and 4 days. That's the earliest I've ever seen."

The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe points out: The earliest she's ever seen in all 95 days of her residency?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Finding out

I realized about a week before the test that we weren't "in the clear" with respect to possible pregnancy.
Fifth cycle off birth control
The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe just said, "That's interesting!" and laughed when I tried to warn him. At some point over the weekend, when my period was "late for me" but not yet 14 days after ovulation, he looked at my chart and I explained that we should have been more careful on two specific days: June 30th and July 5th. He was out of town July 3rd-July 5th... we were happy to see each other...

Sunday night after laundry I convinced him to go buy a box of pregnancy tests. "Why not just wait a week and see what happens?" he protests. Ha, yeah. I was sure by then already, but obviously he was unconvinced!

I slept 3 hours that night. I woke up, took my temperature, and saw it was 4:14 am. Then I started thinking. About the house, our renovations, my job... money and time concerns. Argh.

Finally at 7 I got up, showered, shaved my legs... tried to kill time until he would wake up. The first alarm went off. I tested once and went to see if The Hottest Computer Scientist in the Universe, El Bello Durmiente, had gotten up. Not quite. It had been 3 seconds, and those two lines were there.

I grabbed another test, hid the first, and waited for him to shuffle over. I was shaking and trying not to show it. He is asking for his glasses while I say, "Watch this." Stick in cup, cap on stick... *poof* two lines. "Wait wait wait!" he says. "You have to wait 3 minutes!" Ha, I laughed. OK. "I'll get the phone. 3 minutes. Maybe they'll vanish, but I doubt it! Here, look at the first one!" I laid the two together.

So he chuckles. Hugs me. I am sort of shell shocked. Not crying but not excited. Just ... in disbelief?

Monday, July 19, 2010


Holy Smoke.

I am pregnant.

Not totally comfortable with this idea. I think it will weird out my dad and sisters. We are in the middle of buying a house, how will we afford renovations and a baby at the same time? I *just* signed a contract for my job, which has fantastic benefits.

This was a year too soon!

But I bet s/he will be so cute! And I hope adorably fat from the get-go!!